Monday, August 25, 2008

I just finished the book The Timetraveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenfegger and I hve to say it is the most heartbreaking book I've read since... Nicholas Spark's Message in a Bottle, though I cried harder and longer at the end of The Notebook (I haven't read the book yet). At the end of the story I basically wanted to fin my future husband whomever he may be, jump into his arms, and beg him to hold me and never let go.

It's funny that I feel that because last week (?) Thursday I was talking with my sister and something just happened. The drive, the heady desperation to be married just kind of... fell away from me.I still want it, but if it's not tomorrow or next year or even the year after I'm going to be okay. If it's before I'll be thankful, but if it's not, I'll be okay. I'm able to desire such things as a husband's embrace without feeling like the anvil of time is hanging over my head. God has it taken care of me no matter when it happens, if I remain faithful. And that's the hard part, remaining obedient and faithful.I'm bad at it and I don't know what to do half the time. I must change and I know it's just a wrong attitude in me, but it's so hard to just do as I know I should when I want to do something totally else.

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