Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Romans 12:1-2

I'm in a creative, make-something mood, but nothing I put to my hands seems to be the right thing. I feel restless because I'm an idiot and I know it. I run and hide, from what the best things. It is hard to kick against the goads and I don't want to anymore. Nothing is too hard for Christ who is God, and the Holy Spirit which has been placed in me. i wish I wasn't afraid to hear the truth and "do the right thing". Caught in the non existent catch-22 of my own making. It wouldn't be hard if i would just surrender, just let go.

Just. Let. Go.

Maybe it won't be as bad as I think.

Maybe it will be worse.

Maybe He isn't asking what I think He's asking.

I'm almost sure it will be the very thing that tears me in two--into nothing.
Tears me into nothing.

But I know it will be best.

The discipline the "sacrifice".
Me.
Finally a living sacrifice,
holy and acceptable.
My reasonable (showing reason or sound judgment; "a sensible choice"; "a sensible person"; fair: not excessive or extreme; "a fairish income"; "reasonable prices"; marked by sound judgment; "sane nuclear policy) service.

Reasonable service.
Even the thing I don't want to be asked is quite reasonable.

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