Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Here's a sample passage by anthropologist and naturalist Loren Eiseley. It's from his essay called "The Hidden Teacher":
. . . I once received an unexpected lesson from a spider. It happened far away on a rainy morning in the West. I  had come up a long gulch looking for fossils, and there, just at eye level, lurked a huge yellow-and-black orb spider, whose web was moored to the tall spears of buffalo grass at the edge of the arroyo. It was her universe, and her senses did not extend beyond the lines and spokes of the great wheel she inhabited. Her extended claws could feel every vibration throughout that delicate structure. She knew the tug of wind, the fall of a raindrop, the flutter of a trapped moth's wing. Down one spoke of the web ran a stout ribbon of gossamer on which she could hurry out to investigate her prey.
Curious, I took a pencil from my pocket and touched a strand of the web. Immediately there was a response. The web, plucked by its menacing occupant, began to vibrate until it was a blur. Anything that had brushed claw or wing against that amazing snare would be thoroughly entrapped. As the vibrations slowed, I could see the owner fingering her guidelines for signs of struggle. A pencil point was an intrusion into this universe for which no precedent existed. Spider was circumscribed by spider ideas; its universe was spider universe. All outside was irrational, extraneous, at best raw material for spider. As I proceeded on my way along the gully, like a vast impossible shadow, I realized that in the world of spider I did not exist.

This is how a lot of people treat God, even though he steps in multiple time in their lives, they ignore him and denounce the idea of him as irrational, extraneous, at best a man-made idea, wrought in order to bring order and peace to a world full of absurdity. They rarely seem to consider the possibility that we could also be like spiders aware only of our own world until we add up the occurences in our and others lives and begin to wonder about the why and how.
Fortunately for us God is not like the human in the short story. He has the ability and the desire to communicate with us and give us a picture of who He is. Not only that but He became one of us to show that He is there there is meaning to life, there is something--Someone--outside of ourselves.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Beauty for Ashes

Beauty for Ashes: 
My Views on Tattoos & Piercings

Scriptures dealing with tattoos, piercings, and the like

  • nose ring-- Genesis 24:21-23, 29-31, 46-48
    • 22When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels, 23and said, "Please tell me whose daughter you are. Is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?"
    • 46She quickly let down her jar from her shoulder and said, 'Drink, and I will give your camels drink also.' So I drank, and she gave the camels drink also. 47Then I asked her, 'Whose daughter are you?' She said, 'The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.' So I put the ring on her nose and the bracelets on her arms. 48 Then I bowed my head and worshiped the LORD and blessed the LORD)the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son.
      the God of my master Abraham, who had led me by the right wayto take
    • 46She quickly let down her jar from her shoulder and said, 'Drink, and I will give your camels drink also.' So I drank, and she gave the camels drink also. 47Then I asked her, 'Whose daughter are you?' She said, 'The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.' So I put the ring on her nose and the bracelets on her arms. 48 Then I bowed my head and worshiped the LORD and blessed the LORD, to take the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son.
      the God of my master Abraham, who had led me by the right way
  • nose jewel-- Isaiah 3:16-23
    •   16 Moreover the LORD says:
            “ Because the daughters of Zion are haughty,
            And walk with outstretched necks
            And wanton eyes,
            Walking and mincing as they go,
            Making a jingling with their feet,
             17 Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab
            The crown of the head of the daughters of Zion,
            And the LORD will uncover their secret parts.”
             18 In that day the Lord will take away the finery:
            The jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents;
             19 The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils;
             20 The headdresses, the leg ornaments, and the headbands;
            The perfume boxes, the charms,

       21 and the rings;
            The nose jewels,

       22 the festal apparel, and the mantles;
            The outer garments, the purses,

       23 and the mirrors;
            The fine linen, the turbans, and the robes.
  • nose jewel-- Ezekiel 16:11-13
    • 11 I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. 12 And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty.
  • pierced-- Exodus 21:5-7
    • 5 But if the servant plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,’ 6 then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or to the doorpost, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him forever.
      7 “And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do.
  • markings, tattoos-- Leviticus 19:27-28
    • 27 You shall not shave around the sides of your head, nor shall you disfigure the edges of your beard. 28 You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD. 
How does this apply to me?

One of the uses of all forms of jewelry, including nose rings in the Bible, is decoration for brides-to-be, brides, and married women. Even God uses this cultural custom to show how He betrothed Himself to Israel and cared for her in her youth. He also used it to show how He would remove the high status that they had placed on themselves, as judgment for being haughty, idolatrous, and unjust/oppressive.
As far as tattoos go, in the Old Testament the Israelites were strictly forbidden to mark themselves (some translations infer that that was specifically for the dead) and also forbidden from cutting themselves for the dead.
Earrings could be jewelry but were also a sign of devotion of a slave to his master, as every seven years slaves were to be freed. If the slave wanted to stay with his master he would have his ear pierced with an awl.

  • Piercing is not disallowed by Scripture
  • Tattoos were along with shaving the beard in a certain way. It was apart of  The Law
  • As a Christian I am not under Mosaic Law. Not because it has passed away but because Jesus has fulfilled the requirements of The Law and most Christians understand this. However it must be understood thatwe as Christians do not live under any part of The Law
    • Galations 3
      •  1 O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you that you should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed among you as crucified? 2 This only I want to learn from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? 3 Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh? 4 Have you suffered so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? 5 Therefore He who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you, does He do it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?— 6 just as Abraham “believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” 7 Therefore know that only those who are of faith are sons of Abraham. 8 And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel to Abraham beforehand, saying, “In you all the nations shall be blessed.” 9 So then those who are of faith are blessed with believing Abraham.   10 For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse; for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who does not continue in all things which are written in the book of the law, to do them.” 11 But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.” 12 Yet the law is not of faith, but “the man who does them shall live by them.” 13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”), 14 that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

I used to wonder if I was holding onto the idea of being, for lack of a better term, "tatted up" (that's my song!) and pierced because, "'All things are lawful for me,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be enslaved by anything." I didn't want to be enslaved by my desire for body art/decoration--which is how I see tattoos and piecing--I don't understand how people can not  want art that is meaningful that they carry with them the rest of their lives. Art means that much to me, and to have something that is so personal and so beautiful and so creative on your body always. To me that's just... wow!

And people who are against tattoos always want to bring up 1 Corinthian 3:16-17 (Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? 17If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.) and it's as if they forgot that the temple was beautifully embellished with tapestries and embroidery and covered absolutely covered in gold. Body modification has nothing to do with destroying and everything to do with celebrating God's creativity by expressing our own and appropriately adorning the temple of the Holy Ghost.

Anyway I was praying about it and god brought to me one of my favorite verses, Ezekiel 16 and He told me that my desire for these things was because of what He had done in my life and that these adornments were just physical evidence to remind me of the beauty He had given me for the ashes of my life. They are to remind me that I am wedded to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Lover of my soul. And my heart was settled. But this is just my personal experience, I'm not saying that this is so for everyone. But the scripture above do show that scripturally there's no reason for anyone to regard piercing or tattoos as a sin. It's a personal choice to have them or not.

    Thursday, November 26, 2009

    My response to the question below

    My problem with the "keepers at home" mentality is first one of translation. In Titus 2 that word does NOT mean someone who only ever stays at home or only works out of the home. It just means some who does keep the affairs of the home:

       1. the (watch or) keeper of the house
       2. keeping at home and taking care of household affairs
       3. a domestic
    (courtesy of--

    None of those above definitions of the phrase "keeper/worker at home" in Titus are exclusive of other work outside the home, and when we take a look at another example of Biblical womanhood--the Proverbs 31 woman--she is doing many things that can be and usually are done outside of the home including owning, overseeing, and working land; owning businesses; providing for her family; providing for the poor; and so on.

    The difference between her attitude/the attitude Paul gives in Titus and 1 Timothy and the attitude of today's working woman is the focus on the family and not on fulfilling selfishness. Both husband and wife should do what they can to stay close to home and raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The problem isn't that woman are so focused on working outside the home; it's that both men and women have placed their careers above nurturing a healthy family.

    It started with men placing more importance on their careers than their families, but as long as  the woman has stayed home everyone thought the family situation was still strong. Now that women are also in the work place and the faults in this paradigm are being revealed, the blame is being placed at women's feet, but that's not enough.

    Physically present but emotionally and spiritually absent husbands/fathers are at the base of the situation and only when the entire package is addressed will families be healed. Please notice that the ending verses in the book of Malachi aren't talking about or to mothers but about/to fathers. 

    This is not to say that I don't think that a wife and mother's primary place is at home. It is to say that I think that that is a father's primary place as well. Both husband and wife should work together to be at home with the family as much as possible.

     As to women who aren't married yet, they should be preparing themselves for whatever God has for them, whether that's working or going to school or doing missionary work. They should be perfecting the talents and skills that God has given them and asking God where He would lead them, the same as an unmarried man would be doing at that time in his life.

    Malachi 4:6
    And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the 

    children,and the hearts of the children to their 

    fathers,lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

    Wednesday, October 28, 2009

    Reevaluation: The Unexamined Life

    Right now I really don't know who to trust anymore. I feel very confused. For one reason or another (a lot of one reason or anothers) a lot of the people that I've considered friends for the past few years of my life have shown themselves to not be the most reliable. And that's been my closest circle; I don't have the emotional energy to create in-depth relationships with a ton of people to I've concentrated on this circle for awhile. And now, as I'm nearing the end of my undergraduate experience I don't know if I did the right thing. SHould I have invested more in my "college experience" especially when it was already difficult to intergrate into FSU being a junior transfer student. Should I have spent more time at work and on campus ratther then being with my friends doing art together and at home chilling. Maybe that's the real culprit in all  the this. The time that I could have spent being with people but was instead spent on and polyvore and facebook, etc. But all of my time spent there was recovering from all the emotional investing because I'm honestly not that kind of person. I prefer to be alone with my books and music or with a *very* select few people. And after being around a lot of people all day and expending intellectual energy at school I want to come home and not do that anymore. But I've also neglected the time I needed to spend with God. Has all that resting away from people meant resting away from God too? Yes. And that's not right.
    If I really feel that I can't involve myself in people like that that's fine and dandy but I have priorities and they are this:
    1. God
    2. Family/Home 
    3. School
    4. Writing and Poetry
    If I am spending more time developing relationships (hanging out) with people that aren't even that trustworthy and not enough time on the four above points then I have a problem and I need to realign my priorities
    To be able to do the above I need a job and that's a fact so #5 would be Work. Who am I? What am I doing? What have I been doing these past 5 years? I know I learned something Jan. - Jun of '07 but where has that learning gone? At the end of the One Thing internship they tried to tell us that we would NEED to learn how to prioritize our time if we were going to continue in a life a prayer and i've found that to be unutterably true these 2-3 years since then.

    Dear Father I ask you to help me do what's right with my time. So often I get overwhelmed just thinking about everything that needs to be done and then I just shirk all my responsibilities to escape the feeling of powerlessness, but Lord I know that's not the right way to face it. SHow me what to cut ou God. Turn my eyes from worthless things I pray. Show where you want me to go and what you want me to do, because my vision is cloudy and I don't know what the end goal is, specifically for me. There are so many things in my heart and I don't know what to do to accomplish them.

    Things to cut out
    • television: watch 2 or 3 shows a week and that's it. Cut out movies unless they are special (Precious, The Great Debaters, etc.) and add to your education/knowledge (documentaries)
    • this site takes up so much of your time that could be spent on your own writing or reading things that contribute to your understanding of God, life, etc. Adnthere is so much on there that is not Godly
    • Polyver: ditto. While there is some artistic benefit to the site, you spend too much time not utilizing that part and instead on ce\ovetting clothes and other material things.
    • Downgrade your netflix to one movie out at a time and out all the documentaries/bible movies at the top of your queu
    Other things that need to be done
    • Pay off all library fines
    • Clean and organize your room so that you can actually find all the lost books and any other things you need
    • On Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday have Dad drop you off at the gym in the mornings with your student ID; fear of failure and fear of ridicule is no reason at all to stay where you are physically. "God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind"
    • Pay off all debts. Start saving as much as you can towards your student loan debt.

    I can't write this anymore (never say I can't) i don't want to write this anymore. Even contemplating all the thing I need to change overwhelms me. I feel lik it's impossible. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" "My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches and glory. He shall give his angels charge over me, for Jehovah Jireh cares for me."

    I'll come back to this later I have homework to do...



    Friday, September 18, 2009

    Puttin' out a BOLO

    Please, help me.

    I am on looking for good Voltron fanfiction, specifically for Sven x Allura pairings, which are extremely hard to find. If anyone has any links please send them my way.

    Wednesday, September 16, 2009

    A new song.

    Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.
    Psalms 1:1-6

    (completely unrelated to the post below, lol)


    This morning (5/24/09) the praise and worship team had a discussion after practice about choice of songs for the service. My sister, who is the drummer complained that the songs didn't move her, she felt we should be playing different songs, blah, blah, blah.

    The response from the rest of the worship team was that my youngest sister needed to pray, because maybe she has a problem and needed to focus on fixing that because it's the words of the song, the message that mattered.

    On one hand I agree and understand that praise and worship is not a musical performance. Our focus should be on God and the words of the song which are to him and about him.

    However, if the music didn't matter we wouldn't play it or sing it at all. If only the content of the song was important then we would only recite the words. The music of a song can add or detract from the time of outward communal praise, and it is the job of the leader to determine--correctly--which songs will do so in the best way and convey the message that God wants the praise team to at that time.

    Not only that but the skills of the praise team aren't being used to the fullest and that is a shame. The phrase "new song" is mentioned in the Bible 9 times. David, the premier psalmist of Bible established a highly trained group of musicians and psalmists to worship before God and write music for worship (2 Samuel 6, 1 Chronicles 13-16), and apparently God liked it enough to want to restore that to children of Israel and to Gentile believers (Amos 9:11, Acts 15:12-21).

    I do not think that relying only on music to create a soulish fleshly reaction in worship is appropriate, please note. However, I do believe that worshipful expression should, and even must, lead to new congregational and devotional music as we grow individually and collectively in our relationship with God and instead of stifling that and going for the easiest path (playing old standbys so that no one has to learn new music, even though you know for a a fact that the congregation is going to drag this song into the ground) worship leaders should be promoting and encourage other praise team members to pray and worship and write as the Holy Spirit leads.

    "Christianity is the story of how the rightful King has landed, you might say in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in His great campaign of sabotage."
    -- C.S. Lewis --

    Monday, September 14, 2009

    One of My Favourite Passages

    Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the LORD say, "The LORD will surely separate me from his people";
    and let not the eunuch say, "Behold, I am a dry tree."
    For thus says the LORD: "To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
    who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant,
    I will give in my house and within my walls a monument
    and a name better than sons and daughters;
    I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.
    "And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD, to minister to him,
    to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants,
    everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it,
    and holds fast my covenant-- these I will bring to my holy mountain,
    and make them joyful in my house of prayer;
    their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar;
    for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples."
    Isaiah 56:3-7

    Sunday, May 31, 2009

    Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
    2 Timothy 2:21-22


    When God speaks to you in a way you can understand, you should treasure those words and instruction, value them

    Quote of the day/week/month/whatever

    Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

    Niels Bohr

    Saturday, May 30, 2009

    Today a friend told me to finish well
    I can't remember the last time I finished well...
    actually I can. It was swhen I graduatetd with my A. A. in Winter 2006
    I had a great last semester. I don't know what happened to me after that.
    It seems like I just... fell off. Maybe I thought that since I
    was done there I was just done with everything. But I'm not and I wasn't.
    I still have a lot left to do in my life and I can't just accept
    the habit of slacking off towards the end. That's not going to
    fly and it's already been getting me in trouble. God, I'm sorry that I'm such a slacker and irresponsible
    Please help me to change. I know I have to put in the work to do so
    and I think I'm--finally--ready. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Hebrews 12--ESV

    Jesus, Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith
     1Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and(A) sin which clings so closely, and(B) let us run(C) with endurance the race that is(D) set before us, 2looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,(E) who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising(F) the shame, and(G) is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
    Do Not Grow Weary
     3(H) Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or(I) fainthearted. 4In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

       (J) "My son,(K) do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
       nor be weary when reproved by him.
    6For(L) the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
       and chastises every son whom he receives." 7It is for discipline that you have to endure.(M) God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8If you are left without discipline,(N) in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to(O) the Father of spirits(P) and live? 10For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good,(Q) that we may share his holiness. 11(R) For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields(S) the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
     12Therefore(T) lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13and(U) make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint(V) but rather be healed. 14(W) Strive for peace with everyone, and for the(X) holiness(Y) without which no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one(Z) fails to obtain the grace of God; that no(AA) "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; 16that no one is(AB) sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. 17For you know that(AC) afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.
    A Kingdom That Cannot Be Shaken
     18For you have not come to(AD) what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest 19and(AE) the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words(AF) made the hearers beg that no further messages be spoken to them. 20For they could not endure the order that was given,(AG) "If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned." 21Indeed,(AH) so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, "I tremble with fear." 22But you have come to(AI) Mount Zion and to the city of the living God,(AJ) the heavenly Jerusalem, and to(AK) innumerable angels in festal gathering, 23and to(AL) the assembly[a] of the firstborn who are(AM) enrolled in heaven, and to(AN) God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, 24and to Jesus,(AO) the mediator of a new covenant, and to(AP) the sprinkled blood(AQ) that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. 25See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For(AR) if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. 26At that time(AS) his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised,(AT) "Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." 27This phrase, "Yet once more," indicates(AU) the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. 28Therefore let us be grateful for receiving(AV) a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus(AW) let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, 29for our(AX) God is a consuming fire.

    Wednesday, May 13, 2009

    Feminism Is a Lie...

    for the most part.


    (LifeWire) -- "What do you do all day?" is a question Anne Marie Davis, 34, says she gets a lot.
    Stay-at-home wives represent a growing niche, according to the author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Women."

    Stay-at-home wives represent a growing niche, according to the author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Women."

    Davis, who lives in Lewisville, Texas, isn't a mother, nor does she telecommute. She is a stay-at-home wife, which makes her something of a pioneer in the post-feminist world.

    Ten years ago, she was an "overwhelmed" high school English teacher. "I didn't have time for my husband, " she says, "and I didn't have a life."

    She presented the idea of staying home to her husband, a Web engineer. "I told him it was something I wanted to do, and he supported it. It was a great relief."

    Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Women," says stay-at-home wives constitute a growing niche. "In the past few years, many women who are well educated and trained for career tracks have decided instead to stay at home," he says. While his research is ongoing, he estimates that more than 10 percent of the 650 women he's interviewed who choose to stay home are childless.

    Daniel Buccino, a Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine clinical social worker and psychotherapist, says stay-at-home wives are the latest "status symbols."

    "It says, 'We make enough money that we both don't need to work outside the home,'" he says. "And especially with the recent economic pressures, a stay-at-home spouse is often an extreme and visible luxury."

    June Cleaver, minus Beaver and Wally

    Davis says her life isn't luxurious. "Tuesdays are my laundry day," she says. "I go grocery shopping on Wednesdays and clean house on Thursdays." Mondays and Fridays are reserved for appointments and other errands.

    But her schedule also allows for charity work and leisure: reading, creative writing and exploring new hobbies, like sewing.

    It's a lifestyle, Davis says, that has made her happier and brought her closer to her husband. "We're no longer stressed out," she says; because she takes care of the home, there are virtually no "honey-do" lists to hand over.

    Stay-at-home guilt

    "If you told me years ago that I was going to be a stay-at-home wife, I would have laughed at you," says Catherine Zoerb, 27. Yet after the Wichita, Kansas, resident finished graduate school in 2005, she found herself unemployed, childless -- and strangely happy. With her husband's support, Zoerb decided to just stay home.

    "I was able to clip coupons, do all the chores and make nice dinners," she says. "I was much less stressed and tense."

    But she was concerned, too -- about not using her master's degree in English and how future employers would view her work history. "I worried about gaps in my resume," she says. And there was something else: "I thought about the feminist movement -- all those women who worked so hard so that I could go out and have a good career, and I was kind of saying 'no thanks.'"

    Recently, Zoerb took a temporary job at an engineering firm. It will boost her resume, and although the Zoerbs don't need the money, it will help pay down their mortgage. Still, she hopes to return to stay-at-home wifedom soon.

    "I'd never say that a woman shouldn't work," she says. "But I don't see what good it would do to work in a job that I couldn't stand, and if I have the choice not to, why wouldn't I take that opportunity?"

    Retro marriage, 21st century-style

    "Everyone seems to be OK with women staying home when they have kids," says Davis, who currently doesn't plan to have children. "I've actually heard people say that women who don't work are a drain on society."

    Don't be too quick to judge, says Haltzman. Women might give up a job to focus on an advanced degree, pursue artistic or creative goals, or deal with health issues.

    Surprisingly, though, Haltzman says the biggest draw is homemaking itself. "Many women I talk to take care of the household seriously, and they want to focus on caring for the home, whether or not it involves children."

    Sometimes a wife's desires don't align with her husband's. "I hear frustration from men whose wives choose not to work," Haltzman says, "but only if there are financial stresses. One of the realities is that few men appreciate the scope and difficulties of managing a household."

    Kirk Zoerb is an exception: The 27-year-old engineer says he's happiest when his wife is jobless.

    "When Catherine stays at home, I feel the house is more together because she has the time to do things like in-depth cleaning and can be more attentive to the garden," he says. "She also has more time to find good deals at secondhand stores, garage sales and at grocery stores." As a couple, he says, "we have more energy and are generally emotionally healthier."

    Still, "I don't believe that the woman has to be the exclusive cook, cleaner or shopper, and I don't believe the man must be the breadwinner. I wouldn't mind staying at home while Catherine works!"
    I am amazed at the amount of hate for women who choose to stay at home. Why? I understand if you disagree with this lifestyle but let's talk about it, argue the pros and cons, etc. Saying things like "paid house whores", "lazy", "taking advantage", "trophy wife", "socialite", etc. This is not mere disagreement, there seems to be actual hate from people who commented on this article towards people they don't even know for making a decision in their lifestyle that works for them and don't effect others and is not a moral issue. How does this make sense?

    The fact that women might be happy doing something traditional apparently threatens some people's worldview so much that they have to lash out.
    Calling the women lazy belies the fact that taking care of a home, even without children, is a full-time job. People actually employ others to do that job. Feminism wasn't supposed to be about chaining women to the work force. I thought the point of it was "choice". Which only proves the fact that feminism isn't about giving women choice. It's about making women men, because instead of disagreeing with the lie of patriarchy that women are basically worthless, feminism agrees with the lie and says, "Well let's be like the men instead. To prove our worth, we must do anything and everything a man does, and do it better."

    What feminism should have done is instead say that women are intelligent and can do anything but don't have to be worthwhile. While our we can do many things, our work in the home as is worthwhile as a man's work outside the home and is essential to the continued cohesion of society, as shown from the changes in society since both parents have entered the work force and schools became nannies

    Sharing the Hilarity

    Tuesday, May 5, 2009

    You Are Graffiti

    You are a very expressive person. You couldn't keep your opinions to yourself, even if you tried.
    You have a unique take on life. You question authority figures and the status quo.
    You believe that art should be everywhere and that everyone is an artist.
    The best art is the stuff you run across in everyday life... not in a museum.

    A Treasure found on Wikisource--Thanks be to God for the internet

    Spiritual Maxims
    by Jeanne Marie Bouvier de la Motte Guyon

    Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breasts.--Isaiah 28:9


    * 1. To rob God of nothing; to refuse Him nothing; to require of Him nothing; this is great perfection.[1]

    * 2. In the commencement of the spiritual life, our hardest task is to bear with our neighbor; in its progress, with ourselves, and in its end, with God.

    * 3. He that regards self only with horror, is beginning to be the delight of God.

    * 4. The more we learn what humility is, the less we discover of it in ourselves.

    * 5. When we suffer aridity and desolation with equanimity, we testify our love to God; but when He visits us with the sweetness of his presence, He testifies his love to us.

    * 6. He that bears the privations of the gifts of God and the esteem of men, with an even soul, knows how to enjoy his Supreme Good beyond all time and above all means.

    * 7. Let no one ask a stronger mark of an excellent love to God, than that we are insensible to our own reputation.

    * 8. Would you exert all your powers to attain Divine Union? Use all your strength for the destruction of self.

    * 9. Be so much the enemy of self as you desire to be the friend of God.

    * 10. How are we directed in the law to love ourselves? In God with the same love that we bear to God; because as our true selves are in Him, our love must be there also.

    * 11. It is a rare gift to discover an indescribable something, which is above grace and nature; which is not God, but which suffers no intermediate between God and us. It is a pure and unmixed emanation of a created being who is immediately connected with the Uncreated Original, from whom he proceeds. It is a union of essence with essence, in which nothing that is neither can act the part of an intermediate.

    * 12. The ray of the creature is derived from the Sun of the Divinity; it cannot, however, be separated from it; and if its dependence upon its divine principle is essential, its union is not less so. O wonder! The creature which can only be by the power of God, cannot exist without Him, and the root of its being, that nothing can come between or cause the slightest separation. This is the common condition of all creatures; but it is only perceived by those whose purified faculties can trace the grandeur of their centre, and whose interior, freed from the defilement that covered it, begins to return to its origin.

    * 13. Faith and the cross are inseparable: the cross is the shrine of faith, and faith is the light of the cross.

    * 14. It is only by the death of self that the soul can enter into Divine Truth, and understand in part what is the light that shineth in darkness.

    * 15. The more the darkness of self-knowledge deepens about us, the more does the divine truth shine in the midst.

    * 16. Nothing less than a divine operation can empty us of the creature and of self, for whatever is natural tends constantly to fill us with the creature, and occupy us with ourselves. This emptiness without anything distinct, is, then, an excellent sign, though it exist surrounded by the deepest and, I may say, the most importunate temptations.

    * 17. God causes us to promise in time of peace what He exacts from us in time of war; He enables us to make our abandonments in joy, but He requires the fulfilment of them in the midst of much bitterness. It is well for thee, O Love! to exercise thy rights; suffer as we may, we will not return to self, or if we suffer because we have done so, the remedy for the evil is to devote ourselves afresh with an enlarged abandonment. Strange malady, the cure of which is only to be found in a worse! O Lord, cause me to do whatever Thou wilt, provided I do only thy will?[2]

    * 18. How hidden is the theology of Love! O Love, Thou sulliest to excess what Thou wouldst raise to the heights of purity! Thou profanest thine own sanctuary; there is not left one stone upon another that is not cast into the dirt. And what shall be the end? Thou knowest it from the beginning; it is worthy of so great a Workman that his work should be hidden, and that while He seems to destroy, He should accomplish it the most effectually.

    * 19. Ah Lord! who seest the secrets of the heart, Thou knowest if I yet expect anything from myself, or if there be anything which I would refuse to Thee!

    * 20. How rare is it to behold a soul in an absolute abandonment of selfish interests, that it may devote itself to the interests of God!

    * 21. The creature would willingly cease to be creature if it could become God; but where shall we find one willing that God should resume everything He has bestowed without receiving anything in return? I say everything, and everything without reserve, even to our own righteousness, which is dearer to man than his existence, and to our rest, by which we enjoy self and the gifts of God in self, and in which we place our happiness, without knowing it. Where shall we find an abandonment that is as comprehensive as the will of God, not only when accompanied by delights, illumination, and feeling, but under all circumstances and in fact? O it is a fruit of Paradise that can scarce be found upon the earth!

    * 22. God is infinitely more honored by the sacrifices of death than by those of life; by the latter we honor Him as a great Sovereign, but by the former, as God, losing all things for his glory. This is the reason why Jesus Christ made many more sacrifices of death than of life; and I suspect no one will gain all without having lost all.

    * 23. Reason should not undertake to comprehend the last destructions; they are ordained expressly to destroy our reason.

    * 24. God has means more efficient, more conducive to his own glory, and more edifying for souls, but they are less sanctifying. These great and dazzling gifts are very gratifying to nature, even when it seems to give way beneath their weight, and thus nourish its secret life; but distresses, continual dyings, and unprofitableness for any good, crucify the most vital parts of the soul, which are those which prevent the coming of the kingdom of God.

    * 25. In our solemn feasts, some strive to do something for Thee, O my God! and others, that Thou mayest do something for them; but neither of these is permitted to us. Love forbids the one and cannot suffer the other.

    * 26. It is harder to die to our virtues than to our vices; but the one is just as necessary as the other for perfect union. Our attachments are the stronger as they are more spiritual.


    Sunday, April 26, 2009

    Dreams Deferred

    Friends have been asking me why I haven't really been playing the violin lately (lately meaning the last 6 months or so). And to be honest I haven't really known myself. My answer was just that I've been concentrating on my writing, which I have. But yesterday afternoon, while listening to Capitol Speedway (r.i.p.), I finally realized what the problem was. I am apart of an artistic community that, while striving to include everyone we meet, tends to attract those that are more into hip hop, neo-soul, blues, reggae, and African music. At the birth of this group I struggled to include more rock, hardcore, but that's difficult because I play the violin which is not a chordal instrument (it's harder to write music on) and I'm not a songwriter as much as a poet/lyricist. So even when I write lyrics if I go to someone in the group to write music it's not going to come out sounding anything close to the way intended. After awhile though I got really tired of it. I was definitely valued as a musician but not as a creative voice and that has bothered me.

    I don't know where to go from here. I think I need to learn guitar. But more than that I've been discouraged. I guess I'll have to be the one to bring this change and diversity in the group. But I don't even know if that's what God wants me to do. So I'm abandoning this dream at His feet. It hurts because this is who I am and I'm not even allowed to be that anymore.

    You know, there's one thing I hate; it's going to someone's house when they invite you and feeling unwelcome when you get there. Especially compared to the other guests. It's like, "why am i here? why did I come?" I thought I was coming to have fun and hang out with friends but I'm feeling more and more like an odd-numbered wheel. Again, why ask me to come if you don't even like me? I feel... played. Like people are laughing at me when I'm not looking. Laughing at not with.That's another feeling I hate. I like things to be out in the open. You don't like me t,hat's fine. But let's not pretend.

    Then again maybe I'm just taking things too personally. I don't want to be doing that. But somehow I don't think that's what it is, I don't think I'm conjuring offense out of thin air.

    Wednesday, April 8, 2009

    The longest survey ever

    [] I think I'm really attractive.
    [] I prefer winter over summer.
    [x] I am a geek.
    [] I am a shopaholic.
    [x] I am reasonably intelligent.
    [] I am attracted to girls.
    [x] I am attracted to boys.
    [x] I like British accents.
    [] I smoke regularly.
    [] I smoke socially.
    [x] I drink socially.
    [] I drink regularly.
    [x] I get drunk easily.
    [] I do "drug(s)".
    [] I will never date a bad kisser
    [] I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
    [] I brush my hair at least 50 times a night
    [x] I am religious.
    [] I am not religious but have morals.
    [x] I lie frequently.
    [x] I am impulsive.
    [x] I am hardworking.
    [] I loved Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
    [] She's All That is one of my favourite movies.
    [x] I am good at History.
    []I speak more than two languages.
    [x] I enjoy taking pictures.
    [x] I like spending money on myself.
    [x] I like spending money on others.
    [x] I have a regular income.
    [] earn money on a job-by-job basis.
    [] I pay my own bills.
    [x] I rely on my parents for money.
    [x] I can cook.
    [] I enjoy cleaning.
    [] Tidiness is a must in my life.
    [x] I like clutter.
    [] My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
    [x] I am fashion-conscious.
    [x] I have good taste.
    [x] People tell me I have good taste.
    [x] I am told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
    [] I am good at sports.
    [] I am good at certain sports.
    [x] I couldn't do sports to save my life.
    [x] I am creative.
    [x] I am extremely artistically inclined.
    [x] I want to be an artist when I grow up.
    [] I want to be an engineer when I grow up.
    [x] I eat when I'm upset.
    [] I cannot adapt to change.
    [x] I am interested in politics.
    [] I have shoplifted.
    [x] I download MP3s.
    [] I have done underage drinking.
    [] I have gone underage clubbing.
    [x] I can dance reasonably well.
    [] I can dance extremely well.
    [] I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
    [] I can sing.
    [x] I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
    [x] I can swim.
    [x] I enjoy surveys.
    [x] I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
    [x] I keep a journal.
    [] My teachers don't like me.
    [x] I enjoy controversy.
    [x] I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
    [] I have tattoos.
    [] I've been in a nudist colony.
    [] I'm not sure if I want to have children.
    [] I'm not sure if I'll get married.
    [] I know who I will marry.
    [] Someone has a crush on me.
    [x] I am interesting.
    [] I am a good liar.
    [x] People enjoy talking to me.
    [x] I annoy people from time to time.
    [] I am a born leader.
    [] I am a born leader but shouldn't lead.
    [] I've snuck out of the house.
    [] I enjoy felching
    [] I have a foot fetish.
    [x] I have a shoe fetish
    [x a few times] I watch Sex And The City.
    [] I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
    [] I want to be J Lo.
    [] I cut myself.
    [x] I have cut myself.
    [x] I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
    [] I hate popular people.
    [x]I think cheerleading is a sport.
    [] I am photogenic.
    [x] I live in Chucks.
    [x] I think graffiti is art.
    [] I have dated a criminal.
    [] I have been cheated on.
    [] I have cheated on someone.
    [x] I have a temper.
    [x] I like playgrounds.
    [x once or twice] I dance in the rain.
    [] I am obsessed with Shakespeare.
    [] I have tanlines.
    [x one of them] My favourite color is pink.
    [x one of them] My favourite color is black.
    [] I would classify myself as emo.
    [x] I am musically inclined.
    [x] I like listening to music.
    [] I like music-blasting cars.
    [] Thongs are comfortable
    [x] I like flip-flops.
    [x] I know what monogamy is
    [x] and I believe in it.
    [] I want to be a social worker when I grow up.
    [x] I have sibling[s].
    [x] My siblings annoy me
    [x] I think South Park is funny.
    [x] I prefer Google
    [x] I can sit Indian Style
    [] I own a cat
    [] I plan on owning more.
    [x] I read a lot.
    [] I've cheated on a test.
    [] I've let someone cheat off of me on a test

    Have you ever...
    [x] been drunk.
    [] smoked pot.
    [] kissed someone.
    [x] rode in a taxi.
    [] been dumped.
    [] shoplifted.
    [] been fired.
    [] been in a fist fight.
    [] broken a bone
    [] got hit by a car.
    [] snuck out of your parent's house.
    [] been arrested.
    [x] gone in a mosh pit.
    [x] stolen something from your school.
    [] celebrated new years in times square.
    [] went on a blind date.
    [x] lied to a friend.
    [x] had a crush on a teacher.
    [] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
    [] been to europe.
    [x] skipped school.
    [] thrown up from drinking.
    [] lost your sibling.
    [x] played 'clue'
    [x] had a sleepover party.
    [x] went ice skating.
    [] cheated on a bf/gf.
    [] been cheated on.
    [] had your tonsils out.
    [x] had a car
    [] totalled a car

    DO YOU ...
    [x] feel loved.
    [x] feel lonely.
    [x] feel happy.
    [] hate yourself.
    [] think you're attractive.
    [x] have a dog.
    [x] have your own room.
    [] listen to Hawaiian Music
    [x] listen to underground hip hop
    [x] listen to rap.
    [x] listen to rock.
    [] listen to country.
    [x] listen to reggae.
    [x] listen to techno.
    [x] have hobbies
    [x] have more than 1 best friend.
    [x] get good grades
    [x] play an instrument.
    [x] have slippers
    [x] wear boxers
    [x] wear black eyeliner.
    [] like the color blue.
    [x] like the color pink.
    [x] like to read.
    [x] like to write.
    [] have long hair
    [x] have short hair.
    [x] have a cell phone.
    [] have a laptop.
    [] have a pager

    ARE YOU ...
    [] ugly.
    [] pretty.
    [x] okay.
    [] Handsome.
    [x] bored.
    [x] happy.
    [] bilingual.
    [] Hawaiian.
    [] Samoan.
    [] Filipino.
    [] Korean.
    [] British.
    [] white.
    [x] black.
    [] mexican.
    [] asian.
    [] short.
    [] tall.
    [x] realistic.
    [] sick.
    [] mad.
    [x] lazy.
    [x] single
    [] taken
    [x] looking
    [] not looking.
    [] talking to someone.
    [] IMing someone.
    [x more scared of how than the actual thing] scared to die
    [x] hOrny.
    [x] tired.
    [x] sleepy
    [] annoyed.
    [x] hungry.
    [x] thirsty.
    [] on the phone.
    [] in your room.
    [x] drinking something.
    [] eating something.
    [] in your pjs.
    [x] ticklish.
    [] listening to music.
    Thats all about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Monday, March 16, 2009

    Writing a poem a day keeps writer's block away... Really? I don't think so.

    So apparently, I'm "not obsessed, you just don't care enough!"

    and I looked so hawt with my mohawk. So bad behind. I miss it. But I also miss my Jill Scott natural hotness afro days. I hate this in-between period where I'm tempted at every turn to cut my hair again, so at least it will look the way I like it, but knowing that if I want length I'll have to let it be. Arghhhh!

    Saturday, March 14, 2009

    Black Girl, Light World IV

    Come Away With Me

    My father prays to God
    that I would straighten my hair
    a relaxer, a pressing comb, a flat iron,
    anything but this!
    but I tell him that God gave me this hair.
    It seems He has already spoken.

    I once turned my hair into the enemy, the devourer of my children, to be hunted down, tamed, managed, and suppressed. But it rose again, month after month; like Kunta Kente, generation after generation, a name that held the meaning of our roots. It resisted being turned into a socially and professionally accepted Toby. It refused to accept the lie that heaven equals length and circle shaped follicles and it embraced the Shulamite as a dark-skinned wonder, though still insecure in her beauty. She--like me--forgets that her Lover never once mentioned the the tents of Kedar. He only He only ask that she come away with Him. Come away.

    So when my father prays to God
    that I would straighten my hair
    a relaxer, a pressing comb, a flat iron,
    anything but this!
    I tell him that God gave me this hair.
    It seems He has already spoken.

    The above is a poem I wrote for my Adv. Poetry class (a lot of material for this blog seems to come out of that class). It's still in the editing stages do this *series* of blogs is hair and as a subject that has actually been a focus of mine academically for a year or so and personally for the past 6 years (since I went natural). I went natural basically because my cousin Ricky convinced me to. While at the time he was a major pothead, he was also embracing his African-ness, and locking his hair, etc., basically "going all Afrocentric" as some have put it. His older sister Duwana was also the first woman that I actually knew who had natural hair. So I came home from Vero with a new desire to accept myself as I was. This also coincided with my introduction into Gothic subculture and I think the two fed off each other (rebelling against generally accepted standards of beauty).

    At first I still got texturizers because I didn't really know how to handle my hair but as of two years ago I'm about as natural as it can get. For once I haven't even colored my hair. Before this becomes confused, I am not against hair straightening, in and of itself. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I experiment with my hair texture, color, and style with abandon, I will encourage anye and everyone else to do so, and I will try just about anything once, usually twice. My problem with relaxers is that this phenomenon in the African American community comes from a culture of racism and self-hate.

    It's not that one day someone woke up and said, "Hey, I wanna try a new hairstyle, I'll get my hair straightened!" If that were the case I would be totally for it. Why not have fun trying different things? The problem is that historically black people, and by extension black features/phenotypes, have been associated with evil, barbarism, stupidity, poverty, unprefessionalism, and basically any other undesirable trait you can name in the Western societies. In an effort to further themselves in society, black people began to try to divorce themselves as much as possible from some of the more obvious features, hair being one, skin color being another, though that was more difficult and dangerous (we could talk all day about skin lightening creams, made to "even and brighten skin tone" but that's another discussion). And it's not as though this is just a problem in the African American community (watch this ad).

    If you want to look at the historicity of the above statements, here are some links:

    One of the first ways other Black women respond when I point this out is by saying, "Look, that's not the reason black women straighten their hair now. It's just easier to manage and it's apart of our culture now. It has nothing to do with wanting to be white." In fact, I had a conversation about this recently and that's exactly what the lady I was talking to said. But a few minutes later she was talking about how it was time for her to get another perm and she (jokingly) said something to the effect of "I leaned my head against the wall in class and I could feel a pillow under my head... I felt my hair and was like 'it's straight African American under there, that is not what you want.'"

    Let's go over that again shall we?

    • "It's straight African American under there..." one would hope so, both she and I being African American
    • "That is not what you want." why... not? Aren't you African American? Why do you feel the need to erase evidence of that fact?

    And I think this reveals the true nature of the issue, which is:

    #1 The fact that the majority of African American women straighten their hair cannot be divorced from it's origins as a way
    to conform to white standards of beauty, especially since it's not as if racism and colorism have been erased from our society,as much as we wish it was so. It's not just--or I would propose, even mostly--about "management"and ease.

    #2 The "manageability" argument is racist anyway. For thousands, of years Africans "managed" their hair by braiding it, locking it, shaving it, and using other methods that are intrinsically African, because of the uniqueness of out hair texture. It was not until we were taken away as slaves that managing our hair became a problem and that was only because white people didn't know how to manage our hair and we lost that kowledge in the struggle to survive. It did not fit into their cultural standards of manageability. And that's okay! Not how we got to the West, or our subsequent treatment, but if the majority of a people have straight to slightly curly hair it's understandable that they won't know what to do with coily hair. But that doesn't make the hair unmanagable--impossible to manage-- that means that someone is ignorant of the techniques used to "manage" it.
    Plus manage is such an ugly word. It implies that whatever it is that needs to be managed is wild and undesirable and needs to be caged, sedated, toned down, repressed, etc. I do not believe that this is even a godly way of thinking about our hair, much less healthy.

    (to be continued...)

    Thursday, March 5, 2009

    To Do List

    Personal writing wise, I am currently focused on three projects
    • the importance of modesty
    • the myth of adolescence
    • colorism/racism, especially the way it affects the relationships and self-esteems of women
    I've already done 2 posts on the colorism issue and am working on a third and I am now reading a wonderful book called "A Return to Modesty" and have written a few poems about that. Those will probably be posted in the next month or so. Or maybe I'll post them in The Book of Style. That's just to say what's going on with me lately. Any of these blogs should be up soon.

    Saturday, February 21, 2009

    Black Girl, Light World III

    "Identity is found in the God we trust/ Any other identity will self destruct"
    Lecrae,"Identity," Rebel

    The above quote encapsulates an idea I was taught a year or two ago and is now actually being fully realized in my life. To continue from the last post: When one's identity is tied into the world's paradigm, identity cannot be.. whole? Anything else in life is subject to change. People stop loving you, you lose your job, you might lose the ability to do your art, and so on. Plus, none of those things are totally satisfying anyway. No one thing encapsulates all of who we as individual humans are and to keep up that illusion that it does, we have to limit ourselves and limit each other.

    When my identity is tied into what the world says is beautiful, it is damaging whether I can live up to that or not, in my case not. I can't love the people I am supposed to because I'm too busy thinking of where they are in relation to me on this completely unrealistic and racist standard. Feeling smug about the people I might be better than and harboring hatred for the people I'm supposedly worse than is not the way a Believer in Christ is supposed to live. Only in freedom surrendered to Him can I break the chains of flesh that have tied me down and made me want to tie down others.

    Being a child of God is so... transcendental. It is more identity than anyone could ever need. What does it matter that tot hem I am not beautiful when to the only objective One I am, everyone is! He made us in a way that caused us to be different than each other and He takes delight in each and every difference. Each and every uniqueness. Why should we hate each other? Why should we hate ourselves?

    This blog entry is a lot more scattered than I wanted it to be, but I couldn't put off writing any longer to straighten it out. I guess the next thing I want to talk about in relation to this subject is hair. It plays a very strong role in my life as a Black woman and I think in many Black women. In a way, it defines us racially since skin and hair are the most obvious differences between
    Caucasians and African Americans.