Saturday, April 21, 2012

sourcedumal - November 13, 2011 9:23 PM - Text
Things I wonder about White Feminists
In a conversation on Twitter right now, talking about the manic pixie aka helpless infantile awkward white woman trope.  Aside from the scary levels of easy prey behavior that the trope supports, I’m also contemplating how much of being “capable” is hard wired into the strong black woman framework. I cannot imagine a life where I wasn’t expected to learn how to take care of myself & the people around me too. Working, going to school, being able to cook, clean house, do hair, pay bills, & basic car repairs (change the oil, put air in the tires, change a tire, etc.) have all been on that list of basic life skill requirements for adulthood for as long as I can remember. And I get that life skills are good & necessary things, but man it would be nice to have a shorter list of expectations sometimes.
We’re not even allowed to focus on our own emotional needs without being accused of being selfish/spoiled, much less expect other people to take care of us. After all, we’re supposed to be the caretakers, all the time, every time. And I get why white feminists object to positive sexism like chivalry or whatever, but I can’t help but wonder if they’d be so quick to toss it aside if they knew how it felt to live outside that bubble. I’m really curious, because between fandom hate of black women who try to take care of themselves (Mercedes, Martha, Tara), & these TV shows that exalt white feminine fragility I am feeling some kind of way. I mean really, can they imagine a world where no one expects them to need any emotional or social support? Where their only roles are supportive friend/mammy/sex toy and that’s what is always presented as normal in the media. Do they ever think about what feminism might mean to black women?
thats some more of that white lady privilege. they get to be like “i never felt i had to be skilled at anything” , “oh dont treat me like a baby”,  “you guise, i totes cant even care for myself”.
im always like, bitch, if im not 10 times better than your ass i dont even get to be in the background! nobody treats me like anything but a fucking mule. and i sure as fuck cant afford to be non-functional coz aint nobody coming to save me and i had to be independent from a real young age, i didnt have a choice.
so yeah. im always like, yall will have to cry me a damn river w that shit. i wish.
Oh yeah, Fragile White Woman Privilege straight up. Being delicate? Dainty? Cutesy? Awkward? FEMININE? All the shit white women keep as a monopoly for themselves. I’ve only been called the aformentioned words ONCE in my 22 years of life by a man who wasn’t a family member. ONCE. 22 years. But I can be sexy, a hot mama, a “damn gurl, you look FIONE!” I’m always SEXUALIZED but not EVER SIMPLY FEMININE.
And if that makes me a ‘bad feminist’ for wanting to be protected, to be treated like these things, then feel free to take my feminist card, because I sure as hell would rather be alive and protected than dead brandishing that label

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